Shelley Hansen - Lady of Lines

The Bull That Blossomed

It has often been said that truth is stranger than fiction - and this story certainly illustrates that fact!

I am sure my two esteemed work colleagues, immortalised in this poem, will never forget their terrifying bovine encounter ...

The Bull That Blossomed
(c) Shelley Hansen 2011

I tell a tale of two brave lads - a story strange but true -
for sake of anonymity, I'll call them "Jack" and "Blue".
They worked in Electricity, designing Power Lines -
and their surveying skills (they thought) were bang up to the nines!

Now Jacko was a giant, barely fitting through the door,
dimensions of a bodyguard, a height of six-feet-four!
While Bluey on the other hand was (quite contrary-wise)
a lean and wiry five-feet-five - and built for speed, not size.

They went to peg a line route on a farmer's property,
well-fortified with tucker and a thermos full of tea;
when suddenly Jack saw a sight that turned him pale in dread -
he cried in panic, "B-B-Bull!" Dropped everything ... and fled!

He headed for the paddock fence, through bushes thick and thin -
forgot about poor Bluey in his haste to save his skin!
But Bluey got a spurt on as the bull let out a puff ...
he ran right past big Jacko - tripped - and landed in the rough!

Sheer terror helped him gain his feet and clear the gate in one,
while Jacko, who was slower, still had fifty yards to run.
He plunged right through a fence span, nearly bringing down the rails,
and left behind his trouser seat, attached to fence post nails!

Dishevelled and dirt-dusted, they returned unto the fold,
and to the other officers the dreadful story told.
The bull got bigger every time the details were relayed -
and their escape got narrower ... and we got more afraid!

But wait! The desk phone jangled, and the boss received a call -
it was the farmer's puzzled wife, who now revealed it all ...
"You'll have to send those boys again - they just got started now
but ran way from Blossom ... my delightful, friendly cow."

"I'd say she smelt their sandwiches - she's partial to a bite -
but they just upped and legged it ... and they've given her a fright!
She'll likely hold her milk back now, so what are we to drink?
Just what those two were playing at - I can't begin to think!"

Well! You can just imagine! It has spread all over town.
How could they fail to notice "certain things" were hanging down?
But Jack and Blue plead innocent, immune to all the fuss -
and cry in their defence ... "The back end wasn't chasing us!!!"

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